God, the author of my story

knowme

In my critical thinking class last night, we discussed retrospective narration in a novel, such as in Jane Eyre, the book we’re currently reading. Retrospective narration is when the narrator is telling a story after everything has already happened. When they are telling the story, they already know how it will end.

God already knows how my story will end.

As people of faith, you’ve likely been told that all your life. God knows everything about you, he knows everything that’s going to happen to you; he has a plan. And yet, we often take that truth for granted, or fail to think about what that means. This is proved in times when we cry out against God for what’s going on in our lives or worry about what’s going to happen next. I’m not saying it’s wrong to do either of these things—we’re human, after all. However, we forget there’s a captain in charge, someone who has already charted the course. God knows the exact path to take to get to that end. He knows how to use our life to affect the path of other people’s lives. When bad things happen, you better believe there’s a reason.

For me, this means my path as an author. Most of my lamentations are in regards to how slow success is in this profession, my frustration with having to work so hard right now to make it happen, and the weight of self-doubt that’s constantly on my shoulders. Reading the above Psalm, plus recalling the discussion last night on retrospective narration, it hit me—God knows how this will end. He knows the exact moment my books will take off. He knows when I’ll be ready to handle success. He knows it all. And while I don’t like thinking about it, he even knows if this path is not the right one for me, but will lead me to the one that is.

“Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Psalms 139: 16

I wonder how different my life would look if I started to trust that God knew the outcome, and everything was already falling place.

God, you knew me before I was born. You knew what I’d like and dislike, what I’d be passionate about, and the choices I‘d make. You know my whole story, beginning to end. You even know the moment I will stop fighting you on this journey and trust that you know what you’re doing. You know what you’re doing. I can’t promise to stop backseat driving, but Lord, I’m going to try. You know better than I do what needs to happen before I reach my destination. I’d prefer if you were the one driving.

Amen.

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