My husband couldn’t sleep, and his frustration about it woke me up at 3:45 this morning. I snapped at him as he stomped around the room, and then I stewed about it next to him for another 45 minutes. I finally got up at 4:30. I usually wake up at 5, so being awake since 3:45 is not really that much of a difference. Still, I kept thinking of all the ways he was terrible this morning, how I could retaliate, and how intent I was on giving him attitude should he get up with me….
❤️ Love is patient. Love is kind. It is not self-seeking.
It’s not easily angered. It keeps no records of wrongs. ❤️
Sigh. Yes Lord.
Marriage can be a tough road. Not 3:45 in the morning tough…that’s the easy kind of tough. The tough part is when the two of you don’t see eye to eye, when one person feels like the scales are unbalanced, or when hurt or distrust resides next to the promise to love for better or for worse. Your spouse is the closest person to you. They get to see all your best parts, as well as all your worst. If the marriage is a true partnership, this reality can only draw you closer. But if trust isn’t there, these are the things that can be your undoing.
I’ve been in both kinds of marriages. I’ve been in the one where any imperfection on my part was scrutinized, while my trust of him was broken over and over again. Threats ruled that marriage: threat of hurt, threat of leaving, threat of retaliation… And then there’s the marriage I’m in now, where I can get mad at him over waking me at 3:45, but also know that we love each other immensely, even when we’re in a fight. It’s because trust is there, and there’s safety in our marriage.
If you’re reading this, I pray you get to live in that second kind of love, the one where you feel safe, where honor rules, and where you can back down in times when you feel the scales are tipped because you know that weight shifts from your spouse’s favor to your favor just as often. It’s no mistake that this verse is often used as the marriage verse (it was ours!). It’s the kind of love God has for us and wants from us. When your marriage follows the principle of this verse, your marriage honors God. ❤️