You ever have everything you ever prayed for, and were suddenly freaked out that it was all going to fall? It’s called placing all your treasures here on earth. And I am guilty as charged. I’m having a hard time trusting that God is taking care of everything, and I feel like I am about to fall into a giant hole. I feel scared for what I might lose due to my own shortcomings, and shame for those shortcomings. I feel the need to find something to hold onto for dear life, because everything is happening so fast: my job, my future, life. I’m afraid that if my mighty control snaps, everything will spin out of control. As if I am God. As if the world spins because I will it.

I should be elated. Everything is happening according to plan. But it’s all happening so fast, too fast, and my doubts are overpowering my confidence. God is there. I know it. But I am having a hard time holding onto Him. Or rather, letting Him hold onto me….


One thought on “Spinning

  1. letting go should be easy… weird how it can be the hardest thing to do. You know the Footprints poem? I often wondered what the man’s life would have been like if he had <>known<> that God was carrying him at the time. Instead perhaps, he was a struggling child (and you know how hard they are to carry). If only we knew the arms were there.. we could stop struggling.


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