I hate ants. More than I hate flies, I hate ants. And adding to the flies in our house, is now an infestation of ants. It was bound to happen. They’ve been swarming the house, setting up little armies and getting ready to invade. At first they just went after the cat’s food. I didn’t worry too much. The cat didn’t seem to mind, so why should I? I just put the cat food on top of the ants, drowning some of them, and allowing the cat to eat the rest. Eh, flavoring and protein. Well, soon the ants found their way out back. Then to the garbage cans. And soon they were everywhere I looked outside.
Yesterday I finally noticed them inside. I went to get my kids drinks for school, and apparently the ants got to the Capri-Suns first. I washed them off and let it go. Well, today, they got revenge on me for the whole cat food incident.
They bit my tongue.
I’ve been watching what I eat lately. I’ve been really good by keeping away from carbs and sugars. And I’ve been pretty successful….at staying the same exact weight. So naturally, I’ve been looking for ways to cheat all day long. And all we have are some lemon drops that I’ve been sucking on for days. My tongue’s a little raw from them. So I left them alone in search of some chocolate. And I found some in the cabinet in the form of a half eaten bag of baking chocolate chips. So I ate some of those until I was disgusted by them. But even then, it wasn’t enough. I needed something. And those lemon drops were still calling to me, even though my poor mouth was begging me not to. I decided on just one. I took one out and popped it in my mouth. Immediately I felt the most horrible sensation on my tongue. It was like I had put some pepper spray on it! It burned! I looked at the bag and saw the ants swarming the lemon drops. I immediately spit the lemon drop on the floor, and starting spitting. And I didn’t even care that I was spitting on the carpet. The only thing I cared about was getting all those ants out of my mouth.
I finally made it to the sink and continued spitting. And there were still ants coming out. And my tongue felt like it was swelling. I was afraid that it really would swell up and fill my mouth. I went in the bathroom to brush my teeth, and saw an ant stuck in my teeth. I was thoroughly disgusted. And 2 hours later, my tongue still hurts. I didn’t even know that non-red ants could bite, or whatever they were doing.
All I know is, I think I cured my sugar cravings……