When someone dies, especially as unexpected as Albert did, it makes one think. It makes me think.
Walking down the path to church today, the spot where Albert usually stood welcoming churchgoers was absent with his presence. Albert’s reason for being the unofficial greeter was that everyone who came to church that day would have contact with at least someone. He knew everyone at that church, and everyone knew him. So his spot was painstakingly void of him. But it wasn’t empty. Two teenage boys stood where he usually stood, and took it upon themselves (maybe under the direction of the youth pastor) to greet each and every person who came down that path. Behind them, a bouquet of ballons and some flowers, and a picture of Albert doing what he did best: “Howdy folks!” My eyes welled up with tears on the way down. I swallowed tear after tear in church during worship, still neglecting to hide the ones that streamed down my face. One of the regulars at church took it upon himself to give me a box of kleenex as I wondered how I could do so without making a spectacle of myself. It’s a shock, really, though I know that Albert is where he has wanted to be. As the pastor put it, Albert is now on God’s welcoming committee. But I’m still sad, and have not been able to be at peace with this since I heard the news on Tuesday.
Albert loved the Lord with all his being. He “felt the beauty of creation was God shouting His love for us”. His life as worship was one to be admired, and was not missed. And it’s unfortunate that a death of someone so wonderful is what is making me look even more closely at my own life, and how my life is worshipping God.
I could do more. I should do more.
Do I love the Lord? With all my being. Do I show it? I wish I could say that I do. No, I haven’t utterly failed. But I have been lazy in my lifeful worship. I cannot say that everything I do is for the Lord. I cannot say that I even worship Him every day. There are so many places in my life that I could put forth more effort, could let HIM shine through. Albert did. There was no question who he lived his life for. Could someone look at my life and say “Oh, she’s definitely a child of God”? No.
So, I’m starting over. My life will be my worship to God. Starting…..now.