Musca domestica

I know. I’m sorry. I understand that this blog is directed mainly at people of faith, and not those interested in fly porno. But if I have to see it, so do you.

I have come to the conclusion, again, that kids and closed doors do not mix. There is something inside a child’s brain that prohibits them from keeping the doors closed. And when you live in a house that is surrounded by pasture and horses, and the doors are repeatedly left wide open, there is bound to be some unwelcome guests moving in and making themselves quite comfortable. Let’s just say that even after years of experiencing this, I am still quite offended when I am attempting to enjoy my morning paper and coffee over two flies “getting it on”. And apparently they are into voyeurism, because all their friends and family are flying around, and then they, too, take part in their own little acts of copulation. Some of it is quite violent. All of it is quite disgusting.

I’m sorry, I’m just not that into it. It’s not me, it’s them. Nothing turns me off more than repeatedly waving my arms around to defend myself while little fly orgies take place on the same area that I eat my breakfast and type up my work. I’m starting to think that outside there are less flies. And there just isn’t enough rolled up newspaper to take care of them all.

I tried to employ my daughter into going around the house and sending all the flies to Fly Heaven. It worked for maybe 5 minutes. And then she gave up. I don’t think she killed a single fly. And then she went outside and invited 3 more flies in.

The scientific name for a fly is musca domestica. If Summer let 3 more flies enter the house, and each are capable of laying 100 eggs at a time (usually flies lay 500 eggs in a lifetime), and the eggs hatch after ONE DAY, allowing little larvae to come crawling out, and after several molts, the larvae transform into a pupae, and when the metamorphosis is complete, the adult fly emerges from the pupae, and the adult fly tends to live about a month to a month and a half, and then it mates with multiple partners, thus creating more and more eggs, how many flies will you have drinking your morning coffee when YOU aren’t? Mucho musca domestica. Furthermore, if flies are capable of carrying 100 pathogens, such as typhoid, cholera, salmonella, bacillary dysentery, tuberculosis, anthrax ophthalmia, and parasitic worms, and they taste their food by rapidly throwing up and then sucking it back in ON TOP of whatever food they are tasting, how many of these pathogens are you possibly drinking in when you sip off your coffee again? Plentious illness raunchiness.

I really, really, really hate flies.

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2 thoughts on “Musca domestica

  1. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You, my friend, are frickin hilarious. You must be a writer or something. I love reading your mind.

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  2. OH MY GOODNESS… I COULD NOT AGREE WITH YOU MORE. I have had 2 flies buzzing around my head when I’m at the projector teaching and it’s been driving me crazy!! Yesterday a fly landed on the projector while I was taking roll and one of the kids told me… so I asked the class to quiet down as I rolled up some papers and… SMACK!! DEAD FLY!!!! The projector was on at the time so the whole class could see the shadow of the dead <>musca domestica<> on the projector screen. It was great. I felt such vindication. 🙂

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