I know this is going to get me backlash. Please, for those of you who I know are going to comment here saying I am wrong, understand that my faith is not suffering, and even in the Lord we are allowed different views and opinions. And I probably will not respond to any comments on this entry. My blog here, though I hope that it reaches others and inspires them to have faith in God, is not a tool to teach Christianity as law. It is my space to think “outloud”. My faith is strong, my heart is glad and rejoices in the Lord, especially with the freedom I have experienced in Him. I am truly in love with the Lord.
What has inspired this post is reading an article by this girl named Julie, all about her messy faith in Christianity. In a lot of ways, she spoke things that I am afraid to talk about in some circles. But I’m tired of being ashamed about my beliefs, feeling like a failure because I have a different point of view on the bible and on Christianity. And a lot of time I feel like a fraud in church because my thinking is so different.
As a Christian, the hardest part to swallow is the fact that we are taught that our loving God will send those to hell that do not believe in Jesus, when it is hard for many to believe the supernatural things that surround Jesus’ life (virgin birth, miracles, walking around three days after his death). If I hadn’t been born Christian, growing up with the history of Jesus’ life, I’m not so sure I’d believe in Jesus myself. So why, when the stories in the bible seem so fantastic, and there are so many religions out there that get to the same place of God, will we go to Hell if we don’t believe in Jesus? I just can’t buy it anymore. I believe in Jesus, I believe in Him as my Savior, but I do not believe that God really means for non-believers to go to Hell. What if we all go to the same place regardless of our beliefs? What if we are the wrong ones, and are destined to hell because we are not following the “right” religion? What of it then? How, when the ages and man has tampered with religion so very much, are we supposed to know the ins and outs of God and His requirements of our beliefs? Sure, the answer to that could be that we know what is in our hearts, but if this is the only religion that we’ve ever known? What else would be in our hearts? What if nobody is right about what we are to believe in, and really we all get to the very same place when the end comes?
I’ll repeat myself here to remind you that my belief in Jesus is strong. Do not take away from that. But I refuse to teach my child that her Jewish friends and Jewish teacher are going to Hell. I don’t want to believe that the man who studied Buddhism and lived a peaceful, loving, and giving life, is going to be tortured after death. I cannot believe that Jesus would force his life on others through threats of fire and damnation. I want people to know Jesus because He loves them so very much, that he died for believers, non-believers, givers, sinners, murderers, homosexuals, Buddhists, Jews, the whole Taliban, everyone. I want them to know Jesus because life with Him as their focus is so much more fulfilling. Not knowing Jesus’ love, yes it’s unfortunate. I would not want my life without it. But I believe life is about being the best person you can be in everything, and that we all will get to the same place in the end. I’m much freer now.