You know what I hate about Christianity? How segregated and complicated it is. And in our Christian community, it’s just accepted that this is the way it is. I hate that there is a million and one different religions out there, but we claim to be the one true religion, no flaws whatsoever in our beliefs. And anyone who disagrees is going to hell. I hate that there are some very wonderful people out there, people who have given so much of their lives for others, but who are “destined to hell” because they aren’t Christians. I hate that some of these people are “destined to hell” because not only do they not know Jesus, but they never got the chance. And I hate that there are “Christians” who believe they are going to heaven when they give nothing of themselves whatsoever, and hold onto their belongings like they are true treasures.
I hate judgment over others.
I hate what Christians have done to Christianity. I hate the condemnation. I hate that the bible has been translated and interpreted in so many ways that it is impossible to know what came from man and what came from God. I hate how much our bible contradicts itself: a loving God who floods the world, destroys cities, and strikes down unsuspecting “wrongdoers”; rules and rules that say this and that, then are completely diregarded; thou shalt not kill, but wars upon wars are deemed necessary by God, and glorified by David in God’s name. I hate that unless I am absolutely holy and keep myself pure, I am unworthy. I hate thinking that everything I do, or want to do, is wrong. I hate that I “know better”. I hate that when I am completely free, I am not.
I hate that it is impossible to be free of sin.
There are times when I am so angry at God, at how his judgement will never find me, or the rest of the world, holy. I hate how big he is, and how invisible I feel at times. I hate the whole old testament, and what man has made of it. I hate how confusing the whole thing is.
But you know what I love? I love Jesus. I can’t end this rant without saying so. I love the acceptance and the light he exploded into this world. If we take away the whole old testament, and meditate on Jesus, it’s all so simple and all so loving. There are times when I just don’t want to even say I’m religious, to put a name on it, because I hate what it’s become so much. I just want to follow Jesus, to give more and more to others, and to just be exactly who I am, perfect with my “flaws” and all. I love how simple Jesus wants it to be, “Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven…” Matthew 18:3 I believe that Jesus wants us to just trust Him, stop overanalyzing and looking for all the answers. Stop bringing it upon ourselves to save the world, but allow Him to do it. I’m not saying we shouldn’t celebrate our faith and want to share it, but we need to stop condemning everyone to hell, and forcing our beliefs on others. Forget the rules. Just be good and love others the best we can. That simple.
Don’t read into this entry, I’m just spewing.