Need a laugh?

I know I do. This one makes my tender-past-fluish belly hurt!

1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on
and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they
slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “In”.

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once
everyone has gotten over their caffeine addiction, switch to
espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write “For Smuggling Diamonds.”

7. Finish all your sentences with “In Accordance With The Prophecy.”

8. Don’t use any punctuation.

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat with a
serious face.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is “To Go.”

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry reading and ask why the poems
don’t rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and
play tropical sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you
can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.

16. Have your co-workers address you by your
wrestling name, Rock Bottom.

17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I
Won! I Won!”

18. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the
parking lot, yelling “Run for your lives, they’re loose!!”

19. Tell your children over dinner, “Due to the
economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”

It’s called therapy.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Need a laugh?

  1. I want to add one to the list: Let your toes stretch, going barefoot will change your life for the better!!! And when people try to refuse service and point to the sign that says “Shoes, Shirt Required.” Just laugh and say I didn’t want to do business with you anyways!!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s