Today, Gina and I went on a morning walk. I’m not sure she knows how meaningful it was for me that she even asked me, but I’m just so glad she did. I feel myself turning a corner in my walk, and am feeling pretty vulnerable because of it. But I am also feeling more inspired and more hopeful. My life has become so much less stressful, and could become even less stressful if I live it right. So for friends to be coming out of the woodwork and letting me know they care, well, it just makes me feel better about this journey, that I won’t be alone.
And of course, our walk and talk had meaning. I’ve been feeling a bit like a freak in my faith, like I’m the only one who struggles, who has fears and walls being put up. But the more I admit my shortcomings, the more I realize that I am definitely not alone in feeling this way. And I realize even more that we all need hand holding during this time, friends who are there to encourage us when we are flailing, and let us know that we are not failures or feel ashamed for having these feelings. I’ve seen how easy it is to fall back on the world, become more like “them” when spirituality becomes too hard. I became ashamed, and decided it was easier to turn away than to be redeemed. But when friends aren’t judgmental, when they accept you as you are, then it suddenly becomes easier to shed your former life day by day.
After all, WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?
Yes, it’s cliche now, but I need to engrave it in my heart. Jesus does not hate me, he loves me. He does not hold my wrongs against me. He wants me to rid myself of my wrongs, but he accepts me as his daughter even with them. And I’ve realized this, but many have not.
And this is where it all comes together. TRIBE is starting up again this Friday, and Gina got me really excited about it. TRIBE itself is at a crossroads, and I can’t wait for us to make it what it’s supposed to be. TRIBE is an ever-growing group of us at that after college stage, and our purpose is not only to fellowship about the Lord, but to support each other in our walks and to reach out to the community. And in our beginning plans, we are preparing to make it just that. We are already talking about community services we could perform, and new ideas on how to make this group more inspirational than ever. And I can’t wait to be a part of this and see how it turns out. And on a personal note, I know that this is exactly the boost I needed, to get me excited again in my faith and feel like I have some purpose here. And that to keep going in the direction you’re going, you gotta have friends.