My ex’s grandmother died last night. I just got off the phone with my MIL. It was emminent, as they just found out she had cancer 9 days ago, and she hasn’t been doing good at all.

“Gummy” is in a good place. 10 years ago she lost her husband to a horrific car accident. They had been on their way to a high school reunion, I think, and another car crashed into them. His last act was throwing his body over hers to save her life, losing his in the process. It was a terrible blow to the family, as it was so unexpected. He had been in perfect health, and was the backbone of the whole family. And then he was gone. But being the guy he was, all his affairs had been taken care of before his death, and Gummy was taken care of financially.

Nothing was the same after Robert died. Gummy lost a lot of her fire, and her zest for life. Although Gummy was a kick, and often had us rolling with her raw honesty, she also longed for her life to end so she could join her husband. Her quality of life deteriorated, and soon her family had to make the choice to put her in a nursing home. Eventually, Gummy was confined to a wheelchair. It seemed like every time I saw Gummy, her condition was getting worse and worse.

I haven’t seen Gummy for awhile. With the divorce, it’s harder to find an excuse to visit all that ways. But time is precious, and now she’s gone. I’m greatful that my daughter got to visit her one last time not too long ago, making Gummy’s day. Now Gummy is dancing in Heaven with her loving husband, she’s made it to the end of her journey.

The funeral is this week, and I’m selfishly nervous. I’m going with the kids, there’s no question about it. But so is my ex and his girlfriend. But it was bound to happen that one of these days I’d have to be in the same place as them and suck it up, and now it’s upon me. But this isn’t about me. Truth is, we’ll probably sit in the same pew so that the kids don’t have to choose who to sit next to, and it will be fine. I couldn’t imagine problems being started on a day like this.

But here’s to Gummy, who let us know all about her digestion problems with the greatest of detail, who always had a smile for everyone, who loved with all her heart. I hope you wear out your dancing shoes!


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