Giving thanks

It’s 10 days since my last post, and I thought I better let my 2 readers know that I am not sick anymore, and am in fact alive. I’ve been feeling super blessed lately, mainly because I realized recently that the majority of my focus is not on my ex and our divorce anymore, and that it is sweet to be single! I love the feeling of being in control of myself. For awhile there I felt lonely, and yes, there are times when I still do. But I’ve been focusing on friendships now, and leaving romantic prospects for the future, where they belong. The present is about renewing that relationship with myself, one that has been neglected for so long. I no longer feel obligated to do things, I do things because I want to. I am learning what it is like to be me, truly me, and be unashamed about it. Do you know how freeing that is? And I like myself, what a concept! I used to sit there and wish I was like someone different, seeing the great things in others and feeling wistful because I didn’t have those attributes. But I have recently started seeing things in myself that I like, and I’m proud of me. I don’t mean to sound cheesy or self absorbed. It’s not about that at all. I just spent so long not liking myself that this truly is a new concept. There was a time when I couldn’t face the day without anti-depressants in my system. Now I am free of all medications, and eager to meet what the day has to offer. My life is full. I am with hope. I am happy! Thank you Lord for everything you have blessed me with, I am so fortunate.